One thing that I often get asked it if I ever fight with other mascots. The question has its roots in an incident from fifteen years ago when Wolfie from Wolves had a fight with three little pigs. The fight made the tabloids and seemed to catch the nation’s imagination. Even now I get willed to fight with other mascots. Being far too sensible I obviously never have….
The truth about the Wolverhampton incident is this: it was a marketing stunt gone extremely wrong, or right depending on your view. The game was against Bristol City I believe (my memory isn’t what it used to be) and the three little pigs were there with Coldseal windows promoting something. Probably windows. Anyway the idea was always for them to have a coming together, but I think it got took too far. The season after the guy playing Wolfie had been replaced, and a lad called Phil became the next incumbent of the suit. I rated Phil highly, and we even went to watch Shrewsbury together and met up a few times. Top guy.
Anyway I thought this might be a good time to relay my various mascot rivals.
The very first one that comes into my mind is H’Angus the Monkey from Hartlepool. This
H'Angus prior to winning the vote for mayor. Shortly after Stuart Drummond emerged and a legend was born
was a long while back, and the guy in the suit was a lad called Stuart Drummond. He was a real character, a drinker and a joker someone I’d describe as a ‘lads lad’. I never argued with him, but he was the first (and only) mascot to get the better of me at Sincil Bank. It was the opening day of our season possibly back in 1999/2000. He was the first away mascot ever to visit the Bank and I was excited at playing host. Out on the pitch he tapped me on the shoulder, so I turned his way. He pointed to the sky and I looked up: straight into the sun. For a few seconds I was blinded and he took that chance to push me over and run away laughing. I had been owned and at that point I made sure it wasn’t to happen again. I start with my weakest moment ever at Sincil Bank there, so lap it up haters!
The first time I clashed on more than one occasion with a mascot was with Sammy the Stag from Mansfield. Early in my Poacher career he came to Sincil Bank and oversaw us slip to a 3 or 4 goal deficit at half time. I planned to go out and try and gee up the crowd, but instead as I got changed he popped into the changing room for a quick gloat. He wasn’t malicious but I was still wet behind the ears in mascot terms and I took it personally. I went out and performed a sit in, right on the centre spot. After the game I felt a bit foolish that I hadn’t supported the team, I’d turned on them quite easily. I vowed not to do that next season, and I didn’t disappoint.
The next year they visited again and my old friend rocked up again. Before the game he tried a few tricks like lying down behind me so I fell over, and the classic ‘handshake withdrawal’. Neither worked as I retained my dignified host routine. At half time we came out on the pitch for a penalty shoot out, two shots apiece with the other in goal. I popped my first penalty away comfortably, and he duly replied by scoring his. I stepped up to take mine, and as I did he went and mimicked cleaning his boots by banging them on the post. I waited for a second while his tired routine was complete before scoring my goal. He stepped up and struck his shot, it bounced from the underside of the goal and onto the line…… and back out. I ran off to celebrate and Alan Long announced me as the winner.
However our friend from Mansfield was not amused. He felt cheated and perhaps forgetting he was a grown man dressed as a Stag taking a penalty against and Imp he decided to remonstrate. His goal had gone in, and he should retake if there was doubt. All very funny. Only it wasn’t to him, he was actually seriously wound up. He stormed off and had changed by the time I went in. The next time I were to see him the stakes were a bit higher but my morals were as low as ever.
I’ll blog about my Wembley trip later, but at the end of that season I found myself at the home of football. We were filming an AXA Insurance advert that was shown during every FA Cup tie for the following season. Part of the filming was pairing two mascots up and get them to take a penalty against their partner. The partners were chosen by pairing rivals up, Moonchester and Fred The Red from Manchester, Scunny Bunny and Mighty Mariner from Grimsby, and of course myself and Sammy The Stag from Mansfield.
I hadn’t seen him there, but as I was called he emerged from a group of furry fiends and walked towards the goal. It was the end Gazza had performed the famous dentists chair celebration, and already in my mind I’d decided that I was having some of that (so to speak). I went in goal first and watched as Sammy comically sliced the ball over the bar. Everyone thought it was hilarious, a real comedy miss. In the suit he was fuming.
My good 'friend' Sammy The Stag
Now I’d obviously studied his penalty routine before and knew he’d go and bang his shoes against the post. This time I didn’t wait for him to return to the centre of the goal. I wanted to score at Wembley, and I did just that while his back was turned. 1-0 on the day, 2-0 on aggregate I ran over to the side of the goal and laid on my back a la Sir Gazza. I didn’t get a face full of water though, I got an agitated 50 year old man swearing at me as loudly as he could through the sweaty stag shaped foam head. I didn’t care.
He stopped coming to Sincil Bank after that and I didn’t go to Field Mill either so our paths didn’t cross. I began to get more entwined in the mascot social circuit and he obviously stayed at home playing warcraft and touching himself over pictures of Xena warrior princess. Probably (for legal reasons I’d like to clarify that I made those two facts up).
I’ve already covered my little on field spats with the Boston Panther so there’s no need to cover that, and aside from that I’ve very few mascots I dislike. Out of the suits we get on well, some of the guys I’d consider good friends.
I did have a bit of a dust up with Grimsby mascot The Mighty Mariner last season, but I can’t remember if I’ve blogged about that or not. I’ll have a read back, and if not I’ll cover it in a ‘part 2’ over the weekend.
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