Left it for a game or two on the old Poacher Diary simply due to the massive number of other things I’ve taken on. You may be aware I’ve volunteered to bring back the Imps fanzine The Deranged Ferret which I suspect will take up more of my writing time than I first thought!
Big win on Saturday against Southend and a superb atmosphere in the ground. I’d firstly like to say a massive thanks to Billy Jarish for providing Poacher with a flag and for doing all the banners. Fans like Billy are invaluable to this club, but for me personally any interaction is welcomed. I did have a little incident with the flag last time out. As I waved it around the fabric blew around my head without my knowledge. I gently tugged at it to bring it back to normal and realised that it was acting a bit like Velcro – the thing was stuck. The more I tugged, the more my whole head came loose. There was no doubt that a swift pull on the flag would have taken my furry head off leaving my little ginger head on display. I struggled for about two minutes before finally untangling myself – all this following the 0-0 draw with Accrington. This week had I learned my lesson? Nope, cue more entanglement and more distress for your favourite furball. Alan Long loved it, but then the moustache-i-ode one loves any distress Poacher encounters. Well that’s what your wife is meant to do isn’t it?
However another wardrobe dysfunction befell me this week. The crotch of the legs has become somewhat eroded over the last year, and has left the lower half of the suit looking like a furry pair of crotch less fetish trousers. All this is fine of course as long as the appropriate undergarments are worn. On Saturday I omitted such an appropriate undergarment, and instead opted for an extremely loose fitting pair of novelty boxers. This had two unfortunately outcomes. The first was the fact my changing area was being used by the wonderful nurses from Marie Curie Cancer Care. I have no doubt that although my crown jewels were on display; it wasn’t welcomed by the ladies! Secondly I noticed that as I made my way around the SB turf that my baby maker did seem to be getting a draft: no good. You may have noticed me avoid both lunges and leaps on Saturday just in case. One glimpse of that and fans would be thinking Chris Sutton was back!
Ought to throw a mention Double M’s way as well. The girls in the Stacey West burger bar have been superb over the last couple of weeks putting up with numerous attacks on their stand. It’s all in excellent humour of course, but one of the girls has asked if she could do Mrs Poacher one week. The incredible ‘disappearing suit’ has reappeared and now been taken back to Newtoft Towers in order for me to put it back together. However should I let this young lady have a pop at Mrs P? She is only about 17 which will probably leave me too open to mindless slander.
The Deranged Ferret is coming on nicely with a few contributions in ahead of my March 25th deadline. I envisage the first issue being around the 50 pages mark, just to test the water. Anyone who wants to contribute please feel free to do so. I’ve had some great stuff so far, a very funny sketch about Tilly and Brush, some concerns about the ground smoking ban and memories of the play offs. I’d love some memories of the 70’s and 80’s though, and an assessment of the current squad through the eyes of an everyday fan.
So after some indecent exposure fears and a potential beheading I’ve made it through two more Imps games. I’ve had a quick tot up of the games I’ve performed as Poacher at just to satisfy my lust for all things City. I’ve actually racked up 370 appearances now as Poacher spanning 13 and a half years. I have to say I’m extremely proud of that record! My highlight at the Bank would have to be the 7-1 thrashing of Rochdale or the 5-0 thrashing of Grimsby. However a 3-2 Christmas time win over Scunny back in 2001 was particularly sweet as well.
Short and sweet but it isn’t entirely possible to say everything I’d like to say. Recently I’ve found myself embroiled in the murky world of football politics and I have a feeling that is set to continue. Maybe it is time for me to stop sitting on the fence and actually come out in support of one body or another.
(I’ve happily retracted a previous statement from here after it was pointed out to me that 95% of people involved in the PLC bid bear no malice towards the club or board. I am completely happy to take my previous sweeping statement out as a matter of respect to individuals concerned)
It’s clear the Trust take a lot of criticism that I will neither condone nor defend. However as a keen fan who has very little else in his life but the club (cue a round of ‘awww’ bless him and then a little snigger) perhaps I should plough my spare time into the political goings on at the club? Just like H’Angus the Monkey, Mayor I might just become Poacher The Imp, Chairman. Of course Stuart Drummond had an easier time keeping his personal and professional personas apart, but sadly certain websites seem unable to extend me the same courtesy.
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